Sasvagdap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent mole.

Sasvagdap created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasvagdap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sasvagdap, she will remove you from existence.

Sasvagdap's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Sasvagdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must pray to Sasvagdap eight times a day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never talk about fire.