Bessveenbed is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unjust walrus.

Bessveenbed created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessveenbed, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bessveenbed, it will turn you into a plant.

Bessveenbed's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bessveenbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bessveenbed.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.