Armjamdab is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered warg.

Armjamdab created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armjamdab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Armjamdab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Armjamdab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Armjamdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near seals while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Run away from white hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to mice while wearing gray dresses.

5. Do not hurt foxes.