Babjenvog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful aardvark.

Babjenvog created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Babjenvog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Babjenvog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Babjenvog's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Babjenvog's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Babjenvog.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.