Weglarpwon is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing deer.

Weglarpwon created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weglarpwon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Weglarpwon, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Weglarpwon's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Weglarpwon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your hands purple.

3. Run away from magenta nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed carrots to turtles while wearing green shoes.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.