Cadquimlun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind jaguar.

Cadquimlun created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadquimlun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cadquimlun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cadquimlun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cadquimlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Never jump in the presence of tortoises.