Bestbityarl is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental hamster.

Bestbityarl created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestbityarl, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bestbityarl, he will be very unhappy.

Bestbityarl's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bestbityarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Bestbityarl in the centre of the settlement.

3. Feed all hungry snakes.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about black holes.