Ripsidyim is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, cheerful chicken.

Ripsidyim created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsidyim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ripsidyim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ripsidyim's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ripsidyim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.