Parkripzen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful dolphin.

Parkripzen created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkripzen, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parkripzen, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Parkripzen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Parkripzen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three eagles approach from the north.

2. Erect five lead sculptures of Parkripzen on top of important buildings.

3. Run away if seven rats approach from the east.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near whales while wearing red ear rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your hands.