Migvonyim is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Migvonyim created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Migvonyim, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Migvonyim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Migvonyim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Migvonyim's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Migvonyim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Always help snails in need.