Godpakfar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome raven.

Godpakfar created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godpakfar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Godpakfar, he will turn you into a rock.

Godpakfar's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Godpakfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect your elders.