Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful scorpion.

Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed, it will think nothing of it.

Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tagmatham Manliggedfun Kadvanlipzed's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed tomatoes to squirrels while wearing hats.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing fawn shirts and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never talk about gravity.