Abvolwabjap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable tapir.

Abvolwabjap created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Abvolwabjap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Abvolwabjap, she will strike you with lightening.

Abvolwabjap's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Abvolwabjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Hide from blue horses for they are unholy.

3. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Abvolwabjap on top of important buildings.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about nebulae.