Bomvadtan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish otter.

Bomvadtan created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bomvadtan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bomvadtan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bomvadtan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bomvadtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing white boots and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Never bounce in the presence of ducks.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.