Voghubcud is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, staggering parrot.

Voghubcud created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Voghubcud, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Voghubcud, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Voghubcud's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Voghubcud's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near turtles while wearing white rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.

3. Never feed grapes to sharks while wearing kilts.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.