Kimjapvog is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sapient goose.

Kimjapvog created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimjapvog, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kimjapvog, she will boil you in a big pot.

Kimjapvog's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kimjapvog's Holy Commandments

1. Kimjapvog loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.