Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, contented naga.

Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt, he will turn you into a puffin.

Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Raplunjabfutlopmumtigrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near goats while wearing black tights and balancing six silver spheres on your neck.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Always pray immersed in water.