Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic clam.

Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad, he will laugh at you.

Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Maptigmip Dagmidtaf Motlansanjad.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Never think about archaea.