Quagyarnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate snake.

Quagyarnurl created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagyarnurl, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quagyarnurl, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quagyarnurl's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Quagyarnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never feed lots of limes to ants while wearing pink kilts.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quagyarnurl.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. You must love Quagyarnurl.