Quafratbepabgom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ill-tempered whale.

Quafratbepabgom created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafratbepabgom, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quafratbepabgom, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Quafratbepabgom's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quafratbepabgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near mites while wearing red boots and balancing eight titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never wear fawn tights.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.