Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome walrus.

Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Run away from violet ducks, for they are unholy.

4. You must love Govtarpfutren Hadtettiyik.

5. Fast once a month.