Jipsad Nelgutflan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive mongoose.

Jipsad Nelgutflan created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipsad Nelgutflan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jipsad Nelgutflan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Jipsad Nelgutflan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jipsad Nelgutflan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo snails, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jipsad Nelgutflan.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.