Timnelfet is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring bat.

Timnelfet created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timnelfet, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Timnelfet, she will turn you into a sheep.

Timnelfet's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Timnelfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near tortoises.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Put Timnelfet first in all things.

4. Always help sick sharks.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.