Gofsaflak is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered mole.

Gofsaflak created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofsaflak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofsaflak, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gofsaflak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gofsaflak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.