Bagvontargrultafflig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish alligator.

Bagvontargrultafflig created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagvontargrultafflig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagvontargrultafflig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bagvontargrultafflig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bagvontargrultafflig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.