Vanwap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering lion.

Vanwap created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanwap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vanwap, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vanwap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vanwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.