Quagwotget is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, temperamental wasp.

Quagwotget created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Quagwotget, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quagwotget, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Quagwotget's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Quagwotget's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.