Gebsasvab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, flying slug.

Gebsasvab created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebsasvab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebsasvab, he will turn you into a dog.

Gebsasvab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gebsasvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Always help aardvarks in need.

3. Gebsasvab loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not kill mites.