Femsinfun is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy wombat.

Femsinfun created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femsinfun, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Femsinfun, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Femsinfun's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Femsinfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never wear purple dresses.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Always help goats in need.