Gonbumflis is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid dugong.

Gonbumflis created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonbumflis, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gonbumflis, it will not invite you to parties.

Gonbumflis' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gonbumflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near snails while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing seven iron spheres on your face.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always help frogs in need.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.