Cibnutpas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast fairy.

Cibnutpas created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cibnutpas, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cibnutpas, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cibnutpas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cibnutpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Never pour water over plants.