Bigxuctarg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish badger.

Bigxuctarg created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bigxuctarg, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigxuctarg, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bigxuctarg's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bigxuctarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Bigxuctarg loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never paint your legs turquoise.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.