Mapcitgidtinkapbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, overgenerous hyena.

Mapcitgidtinkapbeg created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcitgidtinkapbeg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapcitgidtinkapbeg, he will be very sad.

Mapcitgidtinkapbeg's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mapcitgidtinkapbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near bats while wearing mauve boots and balancing five aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Always help voles.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never wear orange tights.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.