Fonhatfeb Damvogbus is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair guinea pig.

Fonhatfeb Damvogbus created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fonhatfeb Damvogbus, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fonhatfeb Damvogbus, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fonhatfeb Damvogbus' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fonhatfeb Damvogbus' Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Fonhatfeb Damvogbus loves horses, so they must be honoured.