Wonfigkar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, benevolent spider.

Wonfigkar created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonfigkar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wonfigkar, he will not invite you to parties.

Wonfigkar's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wonfigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wonfigkar.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. You must pray to Wonfigkar nine times a day.

4. Never laugh in the presence of pigs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.