Botwigzak Bitruttced is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless swallow.

Botwigzak Bitruttced created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Botwigzak Bitruttced, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Botwigzak Bitruttced, he will send minions to preach to you.

Botwigzak Bitruttced's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Botwigzak Bitruttced's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Botwigzak Bitruttced.

2. Run away if six monkeys approach from the south.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never wear rings.