Govdumrut is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonest fish.

Govdumrut created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Govdumrut, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Govdumrut, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Govdumrut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Govdumrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near badgers while wearing indigo jumpers and balancing six aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Never leap near voles.

3. Hide from red geese for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt frogs.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.