Bannelnig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, loving fish.

Bannelnig created silver twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bannelnig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bannelnig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bannelnig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bannelnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect four gold sculptures of Bannelnig on top of important buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bannelnig.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Pray towards the west.