Jarngidmidveen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate meerkat.

Jarngidmidveen created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Jarngidmidveen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jarngidmidveen, she will destroy your home solar system.

Jarngidmidveen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jarngidmidveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. You must love Jarngidmidveen.
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