Cussfitzog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful giraffe.

Cussfitzog created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussfitzog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cussfitzog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cussfitzog's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Cussfitzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cussfitzog.

3. Never feed cucumbers to swans while wearing mauve stockings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.