Afvonktonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing donkey.

Afvonktonk created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afvonktonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Afvonktonk, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Afvonktonk's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Afvonktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.