Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless monkey.

Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat, she will strike you with lightening.

Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gigcapkabpon Bonkflabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never hop near whales.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.