Pitsafged is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish beaver.

Pitsafged created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitsafged, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pitsafged, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pitsafged's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pitsafged's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing purple kilts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Retreat if five frogs approach from the south.