Spagarpcib is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered snake.

Spagarpcib created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagarpcib, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Spagarpcib, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Spagarpcib's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Spagarpcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Never feed pineapples to aardvarks while wearing corsets.