Getgovget is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless zebra.

Getgovget created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getgovget, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Getgovget, he will turn you into a goat.

Getgovget's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Getgovget's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never feed bananas to voles while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Never eat bark.