Donxemsog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited cat.

Donxemsog created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Donxemsog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Donxemsog, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Donxemsog's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Donxemsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to pigs while wearing red tights.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Do not listen to music.