Flyflatgan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, selfish gnu.

Flyflatgan created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Flyflatgan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flyflatgan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flyflatgan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flyflatgan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flyflatgan.

2. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the north.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.