Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental monkey.

Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagkinfot Safgamgedflis.