Hivgemgut Banfudbun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered pigeon.

Hivgemgut Banfudbun created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivgemgut Banfudbun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivgemgut Banfudbun, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Hivgemgut Banfudbun's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hivgemgut Banfudbun's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hivgemgut Banfudbun.

2. Never feed lots of oranges to otters while wearing red shoes.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Do not hurt mice.