Tikjarnnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent parrot.

Tikjarnnut created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tikjarnnut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikjarnnut, it will turn you into a frog.

Tikjarnnut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tikjarnnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near goats while wearing magenta rings and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near rats while wearing yellow jumpers.

3. Erect nine tin sculptures of Tikjarnnut on top of important buildings.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.